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Emma [userpic]
I am thrilled to have found this community
by Emma (jfemp88)
at January 3rd, 2009 (09:03 pm)

I have always been focused on absence and only recently realized that what I thought others had was often on the surface or a product of their own doing as opposed to feeling resentful and envious. I have always 'lived in my head' .. has anyone else had this phenomenon of either being IN a conversation or not, like I only truly feel emersed in some social situations other times I am hyperfocusing on small details or I am so hyperaware of my every move it distracts me from what is going on, or often I feel like Id rather be somewhere else and go off in my head,, when at other times I truly feel there and it feels wonderful to attain a deep connection. I suppose that is the fantastical world we as fours inhabit.

I have recently taking a great liking to meditation and mindfulness as a way to come back to reality, stay in current surroundings and focus on the present. I think this is an extremely helpful tool especially for fours who are prone to escaping reality. Yet in my my most anxious states I can stare at an object for hours and attatch excessive thought and meaning to it, often reflecting on the past or who I could BE and fantasizing about how others might perceive me in the future and how happy I could be doing this and that, when in reality I dont get much done that I seek out to do or fantasize about in my head.
I am currently having troubles focusing in class, studying, and getting work done, my mind tends to go off and self obsess, and as a result I feel absentminded and forgetful or let myself do something else because I dont 'feel' like it.  
I am insanely occupied with what most people refer to as 'too deep' to talk about,  when I'm sure as other fours could relate would just assume is the the REAL stuff. I find small talk utterly nauseating.

Anywho as fours does anyone have any suggestions to focusing and truly being emmersed in a subject of studying rather than saying oh I dont feel like doing work so I'm going to do this instead, I always pay most attention to how I feel. I have only recently learned this is not realistic in the real world. Also, if anyone has any ideas as to what jobs or areas of study fours tend to be attracted to , that place a large emphasis on creativity and feeling. Thanks! I apologize for the jumble of words and rambling.


Posted by: helenatroy (helenatroy)
Posted at: January 4th, 2009 03:45 am (UTC)

Hi there Four,

I can really relate to a lot of the stuff you are describing. Is the material stuff that you are personally interested in? I've gotten a lot better at focusing & getting things done. I wouldn't use the word 'procrastination' to describe what I was doing or what you were doing, but there is a really good book with the title "Procrastination, what it is and why we do it" by burka & yuen. It gave me a lot of insights, it was really very helpful for me with focusing & getting things done.

Posted by: Emma (jfemp88)
Posted at: January 5th, 2009 04:43 am (UTC)

Usually it is material I am interested in but I feel rather overwhelmed and often read over it many times but still feel forgetful after and like I cant retain specifics as others seem to be able to do easily.

I will look into that, thanks.

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