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Lucretia Heart [userpic]
3s & 4s Looking Into the Internal Mental Mirror
by Lucretia Heart (lucretiasheart)
at August 6th, 2007 (02:35 am)
contemplative

current mood: contemplative

This entry was elicited from commentary betwixt myself and Odyssey. We were discussing the similarities and differences in how 3s and 4s search for a "mirror" in other people, and what exactly that means to each type, and I was rather proud of one of my responses, so I re-post it here:

"I think both 3s and 4s have a preoccupation with mental and archetypal "mirrors." Both are preoccupied with themselves in really intricate, complex, but rather different, ways.

It seems that when most 3s look into a mental mirror, they are comparing what they see with an ideal of what they SHOULD see, and they try to understand what impact the image of themselves will have on others, & they surmise how it would compare to the image were it closer to the ideal. They want to be attractive because they are ADMIRABLE-- they try to hide the shameful faluts. It's like they want all their good parts to be appreciated. Not appreciated enough? There must be ways of enhancing or adding to the good parts, right? The tragedy for the 3 is to often be so occupied with the lists of good parts and the appearance of the image, that they neglect their spirit, their heart, and their truth.

Contrast this to the 4. When they look in the mental mirror, they're trying to understand WHY they are so... who they are. And who they are seems so out of touch and apart from everyone else. WHY? What is the STORY behind the odd appearance and the sad eyes they see in the mirror? When 4s get preoccupied with mirrors, they're searching for the hidden layers, the stuff you DON'T see in an image (by looking at an image? huh? but yeah...) and they look at and claim the FAULTS as much, perhaps more, than any strengths. They almost savor their own shame. Because it points to a unique person with a unique story. There is redemption in the pain (so they tell themselves) for it teaches compassion-- and an appreciation for the melodramas of life. And they hope (as I do in my secret shadows) to be SEEN, faults and all, and yet still be appreciated for the fascinating beings they are-- as they strive to learn to appreciate themselves. (All 4s think they're fascinating in comparison to most others-- this is our one TRUE vanity!) The great tragedy for the 4 is that they are so occupied with their own tragic, fascinating, image of themselves (no matter how true) that they no longer allow happiness and hope to touch them.

I want to be "seen" because I don't feel I am seen or understood very often at all. My shadowy 4 side wants to be interesting enough that I seem worth the effort to someone else-- and I selfishly want to be the heroine in someone else's story besides my own, I guess! (At least sometimes.) I've mostly outgrown the sensation, but it comes back to haunt me from time to time!

I want to be "seen" because I don't feel I am seen or understood very often at all. My shadowy 4 side wants to be interesting enough that I seem worth the effort to someone else-- and I selfishly want to be the heroine in someone else's story besides my own, I guess! (At least sometimes.) Probably to fulfill that intense need for validation that all 4s have (and, indeed, 2s and 3s-- or the "feeling" types-- as well.)"

Comments

Posted by: vey`la (upwardrising)
Posted at: August 6th, 2007 11:42 am (UTC)
pic#64705271

I identify with what you say about 4s a lot.

I feel like I mirror other people, too.

Posted by: vey`la (upwardrising)
Posted at: August 6th, 2007 11:43 am (UTC)
pic#64326260

Added: Sometimes people tell me they find me "fascinating" and interesting and I can't see it myself. I think that is tragic.

Posted by: Lucretia Heart (lucretiasheart)
Posted at: August 6th, 2007 04:42 pm (UTC)

Yeah-- tell me about it!

Posted by: insatiably glazzal (glazzal)
Posted at: August 6th, 2007 04:07 pm (UTC)
flower {by _evenstar}

Ah, thanks for sharing. The part on threes just illuminated the way I react to some people when they talk about the ugly sides of themselves. :)

Posted by: Lucretia Heart (lucretiasheart)
Posted at: August 6th, 2007 04:44 pm (UTC)
ugly sides

How DO you react when people talk about their ugly sides?

Posted by: insatiably glazzal (glazzal)
Posted at: August 7th, 2007 11:09 am (UTC)
flower {by _evenstar}

Well, more specifically, they refuse to look into themselves, and when they admit that to me, I can only accept it. :)

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